


these blank walls know my story

by dawnofmidnight



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, bokuto kenma kageyama and hinata are in this too but not enough to be tagged, tsukki cries a lot, violinist kuroo and pianist tsukki, your lie in april au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4272576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnofmidnight/pseuds/dawnofmidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Will you remember me?" </p><p>"How could I forget you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	these blank walls know my story

**Author's Note:**

> day 3 of kurotsuki week: music  
> your lie in april au :3

Kuroo had burst into Kei's life like a firework, a cacophony of color and wild notes with an uncontrolled spirit. The way his fingers flew from one position to the next on his violin, his bow bouncing or gliding to accentuate the style of whatever piece he was playing, the movement of his body and the look in his eyes that expressed his emotions and made the piece his own-it was all so foreign to Kei, and it sucked him into Kuroo's orbit all too soon, and yet not nearly soon enough.

The exhilarating feeling of playing together-not accompanying him, but both of them performing as soloists, their music simultaneously complimenting and grating against the other's-would haunt Kei forever. He wouldn't be able to experience that ever again, and he wasn't planning on trying to rediscover it. Kuroo's liveliness, both as a musician and simply as a person, had brought out something in Kei that couldn't be uncovered again.

Their relationship wasn't defined conventionally through movie dates and strolling through the park on a warm summer day to watch the sunset; their dates consisted of Kei stopping by the hospital after school with mackerel pike, and the only sunsets they saw together were the ones visible through the small window of Tetsurou's cold hospital room, the blank walls seemingly mocking Kei as if to show him how empty his life would soon be. They would usually talk about mundane things-their favorite movies, songs, foods, animals, what Kuroo was missing from school, how Kei's practice for his upcoming piano competition was progressing, whether or not Kuroo could pull off his bedhead, all of the things they would do together once Kuroo was out of the hospital-or exchange slow, loving kisses, with Kuroo constantly keeping up his cheery demeanor despite his increasingly gray pallor.

His facade wasn't enough to stop Kei from crying by his bedside one night once Kuroo had fallen asleep from exhaustion (by then, just sitting up could render the violinist out of breath, and talking for as long as they had could take a toll on him). Kuroo woke up to his sobs and had taken Kei's hand to console him, but his weak grip and the perceptible tremble only made Kei's tears flow more.  
\-------  
Tetsurou was seldom allowed out of the hospital, and the few days he was were typically spent just walking around town with Kei, Bokuto, and Kenma. Tetsurou would visit his home before returning to his hospital room, and his broken expression when he thought no one was looking never escaped Kei's notice, and he was sure that Kenma and Bokuto saw it too.

On what Kei would look back on his and Tetsurou's last day together outside of the hospital, Tetsurou had dragged Kei alone out to the nearby pier that looked out over the ocean. They mostly stayed silent, Kuroo's thumb drawing circles onto the top of Kei's hand.

"Will you remember me?" Tetsurou asked him quietly. Kei kept his eyes trained on the vast, endless water when he responded,

"How could I forget you?"  
\--------  
Kei recalled another night around three weeks before their time together ended. It was late, and Bokuto and Kenma were exiting Kuroo's room when Kei approached it, their faces grave. Tetsurou's parents sat outside with lost expressions and watery eyes. Kei's heart pounded in his chest as he entered, his sweaty hands fumbling with the doorknob.

"Tetsurou," he breathed out once he entered. Kuroo had been staring vacantly at those dreaded stark white walls. His lifeless eyes shifted to Tsukishima, and he offered a weak smile towards the blonde.

"Hey."

That single word had been enough to break Tsukishima's heart. Kuroo always greeted him extravagantly and either bombarded him with questions or relayed a story from his other visitors to Tsukishima. Kei moved to sit next to Kuroo, cupping his bony cheek in his hand.

"Have you been practicing? The preliminaries are soon, right?" Kuroo asked softly, his face set and serious. Kei had gawked at the question. Did Kuroo really think that he could practice when all Kei could think about was of how Tetsurou's body was being destroyed from the inside out, of how music took away first Akiteru and now Tetsurou, of how all Kei wanted then was for his brother to feel better through his playing, and all he wanted now was to fall in love, but then-

"No," he snapped, "I haven't had the time." Kuroo's eyes narrowed at this, that fire of his that Kei loved being reignited.

"You have to find the time then, Kei! You come here every day for hours when you could be practicing instead-you can't just blow this competition off! You can play, so why would you give that up willingly?!" he shouted angrily, his fists clenching in the sheets. Kei opened his mouth to retort, but he paused as Kuroo's enraged expression twisted into one of regret.

"I-Kei, I'm sorry, it's just-the doctors...there isn't much time until...a month, at most." he ended quietly, his eyes downcast. Tsukishima watched on in silence as he watched Kuroo crumble before him, the older boy's hot tears rolling down his face onto Tsukishima's hand where it still rested on his cheek. Tsukishima adjusted his body so that he could wrap his arms around Kuroo.

Sobbing into the blonde's shoulder, Kei heard Kuroo address the severity of his situation for the first time. Kuroo shook as he bemoaned "What good is a violinist that can't even hold their bow?"and begged Tsukishima to promise to continue performing since Kuroo wouldn't be able to anymore. He fell silent before clutching Tsukishima tighter and admitting in a whisper that, "I don't want to die yet."

They had stayed curled up together after Kuroo scooted over slightly to make space for Kei on the hospital bed, murmuring sweet nothings and pressing chaste kisses to each other until the nurses ushered Kei out of the room. Kei noted the small amount of space that Kuroo took up-even less than Kei, whom Kuroo had always urged to eat more since he was so thin.

After that night, Kei stayed up late everyday once he was home from visiting Kuroo to practice piano, letting his fingers dance on the keys for songs that started to become more and more heartfelt and morose. He would bring in recordings for Kuroo, who would listen to them with a sad smile on his gaunt face.

Kei breezed past the prelims and delivered the news to Kuroo as soon as he could. Kuroo had news of his own-he would be getting a surgery, and on the day of the finals for Kei's competition nonetheless.

The evening before the surgery and the finals, Kei held Kuroo's bony hand, bringing it up to his lips with whispers promising eternal love.

"I'll probably be awake by the time you're done playing. The surgery should be over by then. I might still be a bit loopy, but make sure you call me about how it goes!" Kuroo insisted. Kei just nodded and placed Kuroo's hand on the bed between them. He played with Kuroo's fingers idly before saying,

"Thank you." He couldn't explain what for, but Kuroo would know- it was a thank you for making Kei play again, a thank you for loving him, a thank you for being in his life, although the time was too short.

"Thank you, Kei. For staying with me. For the mackerel pike. For everything."

Kei kissed his temple. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

Kuroo pulled Kei's face down to kiss him until they were both out of breath.

"Good luck tomorrow. Not that you need it, you sound great. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye, Kei. See you soon."

"Bye, Tetsurou."

Kei left before Kuroo could see the tears in his eyes.

As he made his way home past the railroad, a diminutive cat with charcoal fur caught his eye. It crept towards him, their paws padding softly along the rails. Once it was halfway across, it seemed to be illuminating slowly. Kei reached out towards it once he witnessed the train, but it was too late. He rushed towards it's crumpled form, scooping it up into his arms and sprinting towards the vet.

He slammed his fist repeatedly on the cold glass doors when he arrived, his other arm soaked with blood and gently cradling the weakly panting cat. Two veterinarians ran out and took it out of Kei's arms. He sat in the lobby as the vets hurried to another room, staring down at the white tile.

When the vets walked out, expressions somber, their words about how it had been too late went over Kei's head. One of them placed a hand on his shoulder in concern, shaking him and asking if he was alright.

Kei just smiled and nodded, turning to leave the building.

He still broke down the second the railroad came into view.  
\-------  
Kei sat quavering against the wall outside the performing hall, his head on his knees. He only vaguely heard Kageyama and Hinata fretting over him and asking if he was alright. His thoughts were consumed with memories of Akiteru crying when he couldn't play piano anymore, visiting the hospital to see Akiteru's empty hospital room, Kei not being able to hear the notes of the piano, and Tetsurou, oh god, _Tetsurou_ -

"Tsukishima, Can you play? Kageyama, should we tell someone about-"

"I have to play," Kei stood up, his hands shaking. "I have to play," he repeated as he pushed past the other two pianists.

When he walked on stage, he heard the audience break out into hushed, excited chatter. He didn't care. He wasn't playing for them today.

He stared blankly at the ivory keys as he sat down before the piano. He couldn't do this, he couldn't, not when Tetsurou was-

Kei didn't notice that he was crying until his suit was spotted with his tears. He took a deep breath to compose himself, trying to clear his mind and stop his trembling.

The beginning of the piece, Love's Sorrow, went smoothly as Kei played exactly to the score. He heard a violin playing with and against him, but it wasn't played traditionally; no, Kei recognized that personal flair, the transformation of the piece so that it was no longer the composer's.

Kei could see Tetsurou beaming as he played, encouraging Kei to diverge from the score to keep up. Kei obeyed, the music becoming theirs. Tetsurou looked over at Kei, his bow moving deftly to match Kei.

Kuroo lowered his instrument towards the end of the piece, grinning as broadly as ever. Kei watched him fade and he knew, he knew that the surgery hadn't succeeded. He murmured, "No, no, _no,_ Tetsurou," feeling himself return to the stage alone. He finished up the price, ending on a soft note right as a single tear fell onto the ivory below his fingers. He straightened with a small smile, catching Bokuto and Kenma's gazes from the audience.

 _Did the music reach him?_ Kei wondered. He remembered Tetsurou's smile whenever he listened to the recordings, and Kei had his answer.  
\-----  
Kei visited the hospital for one last time. Kuroo's parents were already there and stood up to embrace Kei when they saw him. He walked aimlessly around the hospital afterwards, those blank walls still mocking him.

The funeral was short, not a very showy affair. Kuroo's parents handed an envelope addressed to Kei afterwards. "He was ever the romantic," his mother had chuckled, her eyes a mirror image of how Kuroo's looked before Kei left his room for the last time. Kei accepted it with a curt nod, returning home to lean against the legs of his piano before reading it.

The letter was what he expected: mostly Kuroo's typical sappy ramblings with the occasional deep comments. Kei read it 6 times before folding it and putting it back inside the envelope. He placed it under a picture of him and Tetsurou together that he kept on his piano and left the room. He had to go fulfill more than just his own life now.


End file.
